Relaunch of the BLOG

MORE LATER BUT i AM GOING TO use THIS blog AS A means TO coMmUNICATE wHILE in souTH kOREa

TAGGED?!

I have been tagged. So breifly here are 5 odd facts about MOI.

#1
I am all about the 2nd amendent. I am not gun crazy and do not own a gun and have only shot a gun once but love guns b/c of their power. They even the playing field and when I was 8 or 9 I wanted a bebe gun soooooooo bad but my mom refused me one. She knew then that I would try to shoot someone and she was right. My temper gets the better of me. Which leads to odd fact # 2

#2
I have a bit of a psycho in me. Yes he is there buried but comes out in extreme stress. I think the psycho manifested itself when I was 2 and Chased my older sister around the house with a butcher knife because she must have pissed me off. I don't remember this but I do remember that my slightly crazy grandmother who lived with us laughed the whole time. I usually feel extremely guilty after a pyschotic episode.

#3
Old women love me. I remind them of the perfect grandson and am polite and attentive. This has helped me thru life and I actually have tried to cultivate this talent. Usually old women are crabby and mean (yes they are) but with me they want to help me mother me. For some reason I bring out the maternal instinct in Older females.

#4
I am slightly psychic there that is it on that one

#5
I was insanely religous and almost considered going into a monastery. no joke. I wanted to live a life of solitude devoted to god. I drove my family crazy with church and church activities and sin and the nature of sin. now I have a passing interest in christianty.

The Art of Dashes

I love Dashes. I am not an English major--though I could have been--and I consider myself a defunct Historian (History being my minor.) That said I do not know the proper usage of the dash off the top of my head but being a voracious reader, I have seen the dash used, working hard, and getting results. The comma, I like, it is a symbol of breathing; it tells the reader that yes you can pause and take a breath and slightly collect your thoughts. But it does not compare to my love of the dash which stems back to my days when I was a theater major. (I was and still am dramatic.)
We learned in Theater that a dash mostly signifies a cutting off of someone‘s--usually abruptly-- speech either by another person, a prop (ex. Telephone), or a loud noise coming from the wings.
Ex.
ABI: I love Andrew, but he doesn’t know I use to be a les-
ANDREW: Abi who are you talking to?
ABI: No one honey.
It was here in the Theater classes, taught by the great Gail Johnson--who I regret losing contact with--that I learned more about life and how to function in any environment. (I learned a hell of a lot from Mrs. Emily Smith about history and European History and gained a love of history from her enthusiasm of the subject.) That is why Dr. Stone1 is my favorite teacher at Armstrong. She is tough but fair, she is also is a site to watch and can teach anyone on how to entertain students while challenging them and keeping their interest. I wish I had been a better student but she did teach me a lot.
But back to my love of dashes. Dashes are the true pauses in writing not commas. Again I feel that commas only tell the reader to breath, dashes tell the reader to think. I am going to write more about the Dash and my love of it but I do have to get to work.

# Oddly enough Dr. Stone abhors the Dash and said so in a lecture. She was concerned that many of the history students were using the Dash too frequently. I was too intimidated to tell her that I love the Dash.

July is My Birthday Month

I have mixed feelings about July. This is my birthday month, a time of year that to me is weighted with possibilities, new beginnings, and melancholy reflections of past regrets and challenges met. For many January 1st is the day of the new year but for me July 23rd has and will always be the beginning of the new year for me. And with a new year comes new resolutions. I am not going to share my resolutions on this blog because I do not see this as a private space (even though not a lot of people read this blog.)
I will say this, to my friends and family who know me, I refuse to SLIDE this year into that funk that permeates from me and brings everyone else down and if you do find me SLIDing, then I give permission, to those who know, to call me on it. As the final days of my 27th year end I know that I can at least look back on the time spent knowing that I was at least true and honest in who I was and what I did (no matter how psychotic or delusional I got.)- love Chris (ever the fan of parentheses and dashes.)

national poetry month what are your favs?

I read on Poppy Z Brite's blog that it is National Poetry Month (didn't know that.) She posted a few of her favorite poems and here are a few of mine.

Sunday Morning by Wallace Stevens
(This is a long poem so here is my favorite part of my favorite poem)
SORRY GUYS WHEN I COPIED IT I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO FIX THE STANZA!!!

Is there no change of death in paradise?Does ripe fruit never fall? Or do the boughsHang always heavy in that perfect sky,Unchanging, yet so like our perishing earth,With rivers like our own that seek for seasThey never find, the same receding shoresThat never touch with inarticulate pang?Why set pear upon those river-banksOr spice the shores with odors of the plum?Alas, that they should wear our colors there,The silken weavings of our afternoons,And pick the strings of our insipid lutes!Death is the mother of beauty, mystical,Within whose burning bosom we deviseOur earthly mothers waiting, sleeplessly.


Dorothy Parker
Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Crow's First Lesson by Ted Hughes

God tried to teach Crow how to talk.
"Love," said God. "Say, Love."
Crow gaped, and the white shark crashed into the sea
And went rolling downwards, discovering its own depth.

"No, no," said God. "Say Love. Now try it. Love."
Crow gaped, and a bluefly, a tsetse, a mosquito
Zoomed out and down
To their sundry flesh-pots.

"A final try," said God. "Now, Love."
Crow convulsed, gaped, retched and
Man's bodiless prodigious head
Bulbed out onto the earth, with swivelling eyes,
Jabbering protest --

And Crow retched again, before God could stop him.
And woman's vulva dropped over man's neck and tightened.
The two struggled together on the grass.
God struggled to part them, cursed, wept --

Crow flew guiltily off.

*********************************
just some of my fav

hi

to those who read this and i don't know many who do
i am better
not by much but still better

probably the last blog for right now because i am tired

I feel like I am fucking pretending and I am sick of it I am not intelligent at least that is how I feel and I would rather stop lying about who I am and be the poor little faggot kid who lives in the rundown trailer park that is roach infested and full of holes and no hot water heater or shower. I am not this intelligent man who is off beat in his sense of humor pretending that he is intellectual and knows what is what and has class and all that stupid shit. I am just a failure and I am going to live as a failure. And be proud that I will probably just be a low level manager-type and nothing great. I should be grateful that I have come as far as I have and not ask for more.

add on

I don’t think traveling will do me good infact I have traveled and usually feel uncomfortable I have been honest with my self and realize that I am xenophobic and honestly hate people I have not once been lead to believe that humanity is worth a damn and feel that most people do not deserve to be on this planet—my self included—that does not mean that I want to commit suicide because of my belief that the punishment would be you would have to immediately come back to this world that I hate so much. I really do not like humanity I feel higher education is pointless and a waste of time and that we were better off being “stupid” primates in the jungle.

AASU is vile pig vomit

I will explain more about what this post really means but some of you might already know.


I can’t go on this Estonia trip because the window for getting a regular passport is too close also it would cost too much to try and get an expedited passport. Dr. Arens did not mention the passport situation when I first signed up for the trip he only told me about the passport a week before spring break I thought getting a passport was like getting your drivers license and didn’t not know how much and what kind of hassle it was to get one. That is my stupid American Ignorance. And even if I could go and be guaranteed a job and have all my Maslow needs met I don’t think I would be in the proper psychological mind frame. The thought of that country now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and the whole study abroad program can kiss my ass. I will never speak highly of that program and/or the program director. I now have to come up with a way to pay 1000 dollars for a ticket that I will probably never use and hate always. So if I did use it I would despise the flight be in a sour mood and probably use it within the continental United States which then would end up being an overprice ticket that I would have to pay a penalty anyways to use this whole thing is just another piece of bullshit that I have to deal with in a sea of bullshit the seratonin high I received from getting a job getting paid 10 an hour with a guarantee of 25 hours minimum in a bright positive atmosphere (no matter how superficial) where when I leave I smell good and not like lard fat and sweat, has been blown by the d I receive earned (yes I earned it not really proud of that little fact) and this nightmare that now I call Estonia.I hate Armstrong Atlantic State University I hate the faculty that live in a rarified realm out of touch with the reality of common (the great unwashed as one professor [who shall remain nameless] called us) every day citizens busting their ass trying to hold down a job and pay bills and I am now considering dropping out of college because I now realize that an higher education is actually worthless I have been placed under Managers who have minimal intelligent making more than me because they have experience and not some out dated degree from a low level GEORGIA UNIVERSITY that prides it self on being the fucking pirates I don’t want to walk down the aisle and receive the degree from this university that now leaves vile in the pit of my stomach.